Vacation
by OodHappenings
Summary: Set after "Is That A Promise", Ianto and Jack finally get that well deserved Vacation to Italy, of all places. So just how does Torchwood's dynamic duo enjoy their time off? Well, it's rated M for a reason folks. After the first chapter the fic is entirely independent. Established Relationship, Jack/Ianto pairing.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: Here it is, Vacation. The first chapter is the tie in, after that it's basically an Independant fic.**

Jack and Ianto had started their morning by loading up a UNIT helicopter with suitcases, satchels, crates, and Aliens.

Fall and Glib were sad to leave the Torchwood team, as they had grown attached over the two weeks that they had been together.

Tosh cried silently as she hugged the tentacled mass and Owen pressed his palms between each of their eyestalks. (Something that they had come to learn was a way of greeting and parting in their culture.)

Jack and Ianto piled in behind the aliens and waved goodbye before the helicopter lifted off.

Now the four of them were standing on beautiful stretch of beach, saying their goodbyes.

Ianto held the Translator aloft and smiled sadly at the creatures he had come to think of as his friends. "Here you are then. 3,550,000 cubic kilometres of water just waiting for it's newest inhabitants."

Glib gurgled slightly and shifted on the sand. "I thank you once more, Ianto Jones, for saving us. And You, Jack Harkness. For your part. And the both of you for providing us with a new home."

Ianto smiled softly, While Jack grinned ,and ran his hand over one of Glib's tentacles. "No need to be so formal there Glib. Though I appreciate the sentiment."

Both alien's color's changed to a softer tone, a shade of violet that seemed to indicate that they were relaxed. "It has been gratifying knowing you. I hope that this is not our final parting."

Fall inclined his eyes stalks and wrapped a tentacle around Ianto's waist, pulling the Welshman close to his body. "I shall pine for your presence Ianto Jones."

The alien rocked the man back and forth, much to the amusement of Jack. Ianto simply sighed and patted one of the Aliens other tentacles. "Yea. I'll miss you too."

Fall joined Jack in his laughter until Glib final released the Welshman, who stepped back and smoothed out his suit, a polite smile on his face.

Fall let out a huff that could almost be taken as a sigh. "Can you please inform the Mayweather pair that we shall think of them often and in high regard?"

Jack chuckled."We'll tell them."

Ianto gestured to a moderately sized metal crate that was sitting on the shore beside Glib. "Don't forget to message us, alright? All of your gear is in that box."

Both Aliens inclined their eye stalks in a nod. and Glib picked up the crate, moving it between himself and fall with an untranslatable gurgle.

they stepped forward and press their tentacles to each human's forehead, and the humans returned the gesture.

Glib turned to face the water and took one handle of the crate, while Fall took the other, they both moved into the water, and soon disappeared off of the edge of the tiny little Island where they had been brought.

As soon as they were submerged Ianto let out a sigh and ran his fingers through his hair. Jack strode over and wrapped an arm around his Welshman's waist. "Work's done."

Ianto nodded, leaning against his captain for a brief moment. "Indeed."

Jack kissed the Welshman's forehead and gently shook him. "Can we start our vacation now?"

A smile. "Yea, and it's about time."


	2. Chapter 2

Jack and Ianto walked straight from the drop zone to their seaside villa to change out of their standard work attire into something much more comfortable to the moderate climate that they were currently in.

The captain dropped his suitcase unceremoniously onto the bed and unzipped it, pulling out the first T-shirt and pair of shorts that he saw. "Can you believe it Yan? My first non-extraterrestrial vacation in nearly eighty years."

The Welshman snorted derisively and pulled off his suit coat, draping it over the back of a chair. "I don't know how I should feel about that, to be honest."

The immortal glanced up and squinted at Ianto. "Feel about what?"

"Which part, the fact that my partner's last vacation was off world, or the fact that you're old enough to have gone on vacation eighty." His tone was amused, though Jack searched for the bitterness in his words.

Finding none, the captain simply chuckled and unzipped his suitcase. "To be fair, I am a time traveller."

Ianto rolled his eyes and pulled of his tie, draping it over his coat. "Were. You were a time traveller." He pointed to the leather band on the immortal's wrist. "That doesn't work past beeping occasionally."

Jack paused and looked up from his task of sorting through his disheveled belongings only to be met with a smirking, shirtless Ianto Jones. "Are you teasing me?"

The Welshman rolled his eyes. "Naturally. Though not nearly as much as I will be in a few hours."

The immortal grinned. "Blatant sexual innuendo will get you everywhere. Though why wait?"

There was a pause in which ack could see Ianto shuffling their schedule around in his mind, each timestamp being examined to see if the could indeed fit in a quick shag befroe the next part of the trip began.

When Ianto simply shook his head, the immortal vowed to make it so that Ianto completely forgot about his ridiculous vacation schedule all together. He simply nodded to himself at the brilliance of the idea, lost in his own scheming for a moment.

It wasn't until he noticed Ianto's scowl that he came back to the conversation.

"Have you heard a single word I've said since you mentioned shagging?"

The Welshman's arms were crossed over his chest as he scowled at the immortal. "Not a one."

That earned an eyeroll, and an exasperated sigh to accompany it. "Jack, we have reservations. Plans, this whole trip has been carefully scheduled to maximise the amount of things that we can do in the space of time that we have. I don't-"

"You don't want to get of schedule." The captain shook his head and sighed, taking a moment to pull on his T-shirt.

"Yan, we're on vacation. The whole goal here is to relax, and get away from the stress and rigour of work." He stepped forward and wrapped his arms around the Welshman's neck, tenderly kissing his cheek. "Forget the schedule and the plans, just for a week. Let yourself go."

Ianto fidgeted slightly and glanced around, before sighing. "You know what. Fuck it. My life is chaotic anyway. At least this kind of chaos may actually be enjoyable."

Jack smirked and inwardly cheered at his success. "What, weevil hunting isn't enjoyable?"

The Welshman stepped away from the immortal and smiled. "It depends on the kind of weevil hunting you're referring to."

He pulled one of the pressed linen shirts from his suitcase and fluffed it out in the air. "There's weevil hunting, with sweating and running." He pulled the shirt over his shoulders and shrugged into it. "And then there's _weevil hunting." _

Jack smirked and quickly switched from his jeans into shorts. "My weevil hunting involves sweating and running too."

"Yes. Running from the proper authorities while trying to zip my trousers."

They both laughed at the fond memories conjured by the conversation.

They finished changing for the day quietly, until Jack forced Ianto to leave his cell phone in the room and Ianto made the captain leave his wrist band.

Ianto had tossed his phone onto the bed and crossed his arms.

"If I have to leave my phone, that-" He pointed at the captain's wrist once more. "has to stay in here."

Jack pouted and fiddled with the clasp. "But Yan, I hate being without it."

The Welshman nodded. "And I hate not having my phone. But if I have to leave that, then you're taking that useless thing off."

"It's not useless."

Ianto huffed and ran a hand through his hair before sighing. "Jack, tan lines."

The immortal froze in place for a moment and attempted to recall the last time that he had actually had sufficient enough sun for a tan. Had he tanned? He sighed himself and quickly removed the device, tossing it onto the bed where it landed next to Ianto's phone. "Fine. There. Happy?"

The Welshman nodded and drew his captain into a chaste kiss. "We still are on time to make it to our dinner reservations."

Jack groaned but opened the door anyway, shaking his head as Ianto walked through. "You're not going to completely let go of your schedule, are you?"

The Welshman grinned and shook his head. "Not a chance in Hell, sir."

The immortal murmured something about this vacation turning into hell, but was completely cut off by the massive smile that overwhelmed Ianto's features as a warm breeze buffered them.

If he kept Ianto smiling like that the whole trip, then how bad could things be?


	3. Chapter 3

They strolled leisurely hand in hand down the worn stone streets, neither speaking so much as basking in the warm the of the sun and each other's company.

They passed by a cluster of small wooden stands selling hand made goods and mass market knockoffs alike.

Jack sighed, glaring at the garish rainbow handbags with "Italy" printed over every inch of them. "I remember ancient Pompeii. The stands and booths selling fish and hand made jewelry. Peddlers running up to you from the streets and thrusting their finest wares practically into your face just so you would be enticed to drop your entire purse of gold into their hands."

Ianto hummed as he picked up a macrame necklace from a clip board held by a little girl sitting at the edge of one of the booths. He knelt in front of her and smiled. "Are these for sale dear?"

She nodded enthusiastically and held up a sheet of paper wit ha crudely drawn 5 written on it in crayon.

He held the necklace up and ran his fingers over the shells woven into it. "Five euro?"

Another emphatic nod.

The Welshman laughed and pulled a five euro note from his wallet. "Tell you what. If you can get me a bag so that he." He hooked a thumb in Jack's general direction. "Can't see it. You have your self a deal."

The girl broke into a gap toothed grin and scrambled up from her stool to the older woman manning the booth next to them. There was a small discussion in Italian that Ianto chose to ignore, wen the little girl dame running out with the trinket wrapped in a small blue handkerchief.

Ianto took the bundle and tucked it neatly into his trouser pockets before handing the girl the note and extending his hand. "Thank you ma'am it was lovely doing business with you."

The girl giggled and shook it. Ianto nodded and walked back towards the street, finding Jack trying desperately to communicate something with an extremely frustrated man behind the counter of a booth.

The immortal looked up and relief washed over his features. "Oh thank god. Ianto, you speak Italian don't you?"

Ianto held up his and and pinched his fingers. "Solo un po'."

The man turned to Ianto and gestured or him to come forward. "Oh grazie a dio. Dico questo arragant bastardo che egli non può contrattare prezzi. Non si tratta di un mercato delle pulci. E' un buisness legitamate e non posso aiutare ma-"

Ianto waved his frantically. "Per favore Signore, lui è un americano. Egli non ha altra scelta se non quella di essere un idiota. Dimmi, che cosa era di contrattazione?"

The man smiled and laughed, his voice uncomfortably loud and booming. "È uno stolto non è lui? E' stato che vogliono questo." The man held up a diamond encrusted watch that was clearly a knock off.

Ianto rolled his eyes and shook his head disapprovingly at his captain. "Grazie per la vostra pazienza. Ti porterò lontano."

He hooked his arm around Jack's shoulders and pulled im into the street, ignoring the shouting of the man behind them.

Jack rained his neck back to look at the booth. "What the hell did you tell him? And why are we leaving? Did you really not like the watch?"

The Welshman groaned and turned to the immortal. "He told me that you were trying to bargain prices with him. He was pissed. I explained that you were just a naive American who didn't know any better."

Jack pouted. "That's not very nice."

"Well you were about to buy the most obvious knock off Rolex in the history of knock off Rolex's."

The immortal's mouth fell open and he stopped dead in the street. "That was fake?"

Ianto nodded, once again maneuvering his captain forward. "Yes. Jack, this isn't ancient Italy. I thought you'd be around enough to know that not everything you see is real."

Jack sighed and wrapped his arm around Ianto's. "You'd think huh." He glanced over and gazed into Ianto's eyes. "What would I do without you?"

The Welshman smiled sadly and moved his hand to intertwine with the captain's as they resumed their stroll.. "You'll move on. Get a new life, shag someone else, Or several someones."

Jack felt a lump rise in his throat at the sheer thought that this is what his Ianto thought. "Yan."

Ianto chuckled. "In five years you wouldn't ever remember me past-" Ianto smirked, faking an American accent. 'There was this one guy, you know? He had a great ass, and looked fantastic in a suit. Made a mean cup of coffee. Though I can't quite recall his name."

The immortal felt his entire body course with anger, partly because of the words that his Welshman was saying and partially because of how nonchalantly he was saying them. Like this was obvious. A fact of life.

Jack gripped Ianto's arm tightly and jerked him into the nearest store. He pulled Ianto through the rows of shelves and shoppers and pushed him through into the back. One of the stores clerks followed them back, shouting very violently in Italian.

Ianto made to answer back but Jack didn't give him the chance, instead delving in for an extraordinarily rough and passionate kiss. The clerk's shouting grew quiet as she blushed and backed her way out of the room.

No sooner had she left did Jack break off the kiss, his eyes fever bright. "I thought we had gotten past this Yan. I thought that you would have realized that you are the only thing that I care about. Torchwood, The doctor, be damned. This. Right here. Right now. THIS is what I'm going to treasure. My Ianto. Italy. Our week in paradise. And ten thousand years down the road I will look back and smile at all of the memories that we have made. That we are making."

He sighed and gently wrapped a hand around Ianto's shoulder. "The memories that we will make. Because you, and me, we have still got one hell of a run together yet, you hear me?"

Ianto nodded, tears threatening to spill despite his best efforts to hold them in. "Who knew four hours of Vacation would turn you into a raving sentimentalist."

Jack smiled wrapping his arms lightly around his Welshman and nestling his face in the man's hair. "Who knew."

The stood there for a few minuets simply holding eachother when Ianto's watch started to beep. "Damn."

The immortal pulled back. "What? What is it?"

Ianto sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "We've missed our reservation."

Jack broke down into a fit of laughter that was quick to spread to the Welshman beside him. "Can't you just call and ask for a later time?"

The Welshman nodded and felt for a phone that he did not have. "I would. But someone made me leave my phone in the hotel room."

The immortal grinned. "looks like we have two options. We can go back to the hotel and grab it."

"And then spend the evening in bed."

"Exactly. Or we can skip dinner and go straight to dessert."

"Which will result in the same ending."

"Precisely."

Ianto rolled his eyes glanced around, only to see the clerk holding up her cellphone, at the men. "Well I see a third option."

The immortal frowned. "What?"

The Welshman nodded slightly towards the door. "We could borrow the phone that has been recording this entire encounter."

Jack's entire body when rigid and he spun around on his heels. His posture as commanding and militant as physically possible. He strode towards the woman and went to snatch the phone out of her hands when Ianto stopped him. "Sir, Let me."

He faced the woman and held out his hand. "O me la dai, o a lui. VORREI solo eliminare il video e fare una telefonata. Pensare a che cosa farà."

She looked between the two of the men and quickly dropped the phone into Ianto's hand, far too terrified to move. Ianto promptly deleted the video, as well as the pictures she had snapped, and the proceeded to make his call.

Jack simply stared at the Welshman with a mixture of admiration and awe. When the call was over, Ianto handed the phone back to the woman, who scurried off into the store.

"We have ten minutes to make it two blocks east."

The immortal shook his head. "I will never understand you Ianto Jones."

Ianto shrugged. "That is how it should be."

**_TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWT_**

**AUTHORS NOTE: Alright, so it's been forever since the last chapter, and it may be a while until the next. I'm sorry. I have no choice. **

**Now. I do not speak Italian. If you know Italian, and my translators and textbooks have failed me. Tell me. I will fix it in a heartbeat. Just ask anyone who has commented on my Welsh. **

**The phrases in the story-as I know them to be- are as follows. **

**Just a little. **

**"Oh thank god. I told this arrogant bastard that he cannot bargain prices. This is not a flea market. It is a legitimate business and i cannot help but-"**

**"Please Sir. He is an American. He has no choice but to be an idiot. Tell me, what was he bargaining for?"**

**"He is a fool isn't he. He was wanting this."**

**"Thank you for your patience. I'll take him away." **

**"You can give it to me, or give it to him. I would just delete the video and make a call. Think about what he would do."**


	4. Chapter 4

The two men waked into the small restaurant and were greeted by a casually dressed man that was, apparently, their host. "Mr. and Mr. Harness-Jones?"

Ianto nodded and nudged Jack. The server held out a hand and directed them forward. "Follow me."

He wove them between tables of quietly conversing couples, towards a small booth nested in the corner, with what could arguably be the best view of the sun setting over the beach.

The two men sat down and picked up their menus and skimmed over their contents, neither one daring to break the brittle silence that had fallen over them since their walk from the store.

It took a few minuets before Jack spoke. "Alright. Yan. Harkness-Jones? Really? You had to use that?"

Ianto smiled and flipped a page in his menu. "It was too good of an opportunity for me to pass up. Besides, Tosh would be proud."

The immortal shook his head and glanced over his menu, his smile slowly turning into a frown. "This is nearly all sea food."

The Welshman nodded. "Yes Jack. If you hadn't noticed." He pointed out of the window. "That's the Mediterranean."

Jack rolled his eyes. "I don't like sea food."

Ianto was about to interject when Jack raised his hands defensively. "Fish and chips, sure. But this?" He squinted at the menu. "'Burrida. A traditional Italian dish containing prawns, mackerel, and lemon sole.' You hear that Ianto? Soul."

Ianto sighed and placed his hand gently on top of Jack's. "It isn't pronounced like that, first of all. And second, didn't you live on a coastal peninsula? Oh how did you describe it? 'The white sand stretched for miles and miles and the waters were the purest of blues.' What did you colonists eat there? Sand bacon?"

The immortal glared at his Welshman disapprovingly. "No, Ianto, we had replicators. If I wanted Plomeek soup or a Raktajino, I got it. If I wanted an ancient Earth Cheese Burger, I could order it. I never had to eat what was caught."

The waiter arrived to take their orders before Ianto could laugh at the absurdity that was his captain. Ianto quickly skimmed the menu and selected the first item that caught his attention. "I'll have the Polpi in Purgatorio." The waiter smirked and then turned to Jack. "You sir?"

Jack fidgeted and looked worriedly at Ianto who sighed and gestured that he would be ordering for his compatriot. " He'll be having the Culingionis with tomato and basil sauce." The waiter nodded and took up their menus replacing them with a wine list that Ianto quickly waved away. "We'll be having Vernaccia di Oristano."

The waiter nodded and walked away, leaving Jack to glare at Ianto. "What did you just order for me?"

The Welshman grinned broadly and shook his head. "Nothing that will kill you, I can assure you of that."

Jack glared playfully across the table. "And how can I trust you? I mean for all I know this-" He gestured broadly around them. "Is some elaborate set up to-" He started chuckling "t-to murder me."

Both men fell into a fit of uncontrollable laughter, interrupted only by the arrival of their wine by a pink cheeked waitress who nearly dropped the bottle when Jack turned to grin at her.

She muttered something in Italian and hastily poured the drinks with trembling fingers. Ianto smiled at her kindly. "Thank you ma'am."

THe girl froze as if she transfixed to the spot by the Welshman's words.

Jack nearly bit through is fingers in an attempt to contain the laughter that threatened to fall from his lips as the waitress blushed and stared longingly at the Welshman, her green eyes pulled wide with disbelieve.

Ianto lanced away,the tips of his ears turning pink as he cleared his throat. The girl jumped and bolted away from the table, leaving Jack to laugh openly. "Yan, I have completely underestimated your prowess for attracting the fairer sex."

He made a show of peering over his shoulder in the direction that the girl had gone. "You think that she'd have any interest in joining us this evening?"

Ianto blushed furiously and stared at his partner in complete and utter disbelief. "Please tell me you're joking."

When the immortal shrugged and took a sip from his wine glass, Ianto groaned. "You are serous aren't you. Christ Jack, we've only just started our vacation. Can we at least wait a day before we start discussing adding strangers in the middle?"

Jack leaned over the table, a triumphant grin on his face. "Ha! So you would be open to it!"

The Welshman shook his head. "Not on your life, sir."

The immortal was about to make a comment about how he could easily end this life and start another one when Ianto held up a hand. "If you make a joke about your inability to die I swear we have repeat of the last time you told the story about your executioners and hyper-vodka."

Jack cringed at the memory of the last time he had forced Ianto to sit through that story. "We did keep in touch though."

Ianto sighed and sipped his wine. "I'm sure you did."

There meal was promptly brought out by the same waitress as before, who was still red eared. No sooner had she placed the plates onto the table did she scurry away again.

Jack stared in abject horror at the plate set before his partner. "What the hell IS that Yan? Will it move?"

Ianto chuckled and hook his head. No Jack, It's just braised octopus with spaghetti. It isn't going to attack me or suck of my face."

He slowly sliced into the steaming plate and took a slow bite, his eyes closed rapturously as he enjoyed the savory bite. The Welshman swallowed and grinned at the nearly green captain before him. "Delicious."

The immortal nodded and slowly poked at the plate of dumplings before him. "Ianto." He said softly. Ianto sighed and took another bite of his food. "Yes Jack."

"What did you order?" His voice was so soft and imploring that Ianto could not help but draw the moment out. "Did you not hear me? Culingionis with tomato and basil sauce."

Jack groaned and pushed one of the morsels around on his plate. "I mean what's in it?"

The Welshman took pity and reassuringly patted Jack's hand. "They're just potato, pecorino cheese and mint stuffed ravioli. Totally harmless. No shellfish, no meat, nothing. Just good food. And pretty. Just look at how intricately the dough is pleated."

The immortal nodded and pretended to examine the design of the food before he stabbed on of the ravioli viciously and popped the whole thing into his mouth.

Once more the Welshman sighed and shook his head, his attention turning from the boyish smile of his chipmunk cheeked partner to the meal on his plate. "Several hundred years old and you still act like your 12."

Jack swallowed his food and ate another one in a much more civilized manner. "There your Majesty, is that better?"

Ianto playfully kicked his captain under the table as retribution for his snark. "Much."

The captain started to giggle and he pointed at Ianto's plate. "You ordered Octopus."

The Welshman nodded. "So? I like Octopus?"

Jack shook his head. "Think about what brought us here in the first place."

Ianto paused and paled at the association between Glib and Fall and his dinner. He shoved his plate away and glared viciously at the immortal. "That was not funny Jack."

He simply continued laughing. "You should see your face!"

Ianto shook his head, his jaw set with mock anger. "I can't believe you let me eat that! You are unbelievable."

Jack wiped a tear from his eye. " I said that I didn't like seafood."

Ianto groaned and took a few moments to settle is churning stomach when letting Jack calm from his fit of laughter. He cleared hsi throat after a time. "What's something that you absolutely must do wile we're here."

The immortal was about to speak when Ianto stopped him. "Aside from shagging me in various locations and positions."

The captain feigned shock. "Ianto! You must know that I had more planned for this vacation than sex."

Ianto rolled his eyes and took a sip o his wine. "That's all you've talked about since we got here."

Jack nodded and rubbed the back of his neck self consciously. "I guess it is, huh. Well then, let's do something absolutely crazy. Picnic on a nudist beach."

The Welshman frowned. "Jack. You do realize that I'm Welsh, ya?"

He pursed his lips and shook his head"So?"

Ianto rolled his eyes. "So I burn. Like paper. I'm already going to be red from today, sunscreen be damned. The last thing you want on our vacation is for me to be head to toe sun-burnt."

Jack chuckled. "But rubbing aloe onto burns can always be fun."

"You do realize that my penis is included in that. There would be no chance in hell that I'd be doing any of what you want on this trip if THAT gets burned. We'd be on the first flight back to Cardiff."

The immortal winced and shook his head violently. "You are right, I agree,tat was a bad idea. A really bad idea."

Ianto nodded his agreement which prompted Jack to produce another brilliant idea. "What about doing it at night? Finding an unoccupied stretch of sea and gong skinny dipping?"

The Welshman considered it and then shook his head, pushing back his plate further and downing the rest of is glass of wine. "I can one up that."

Jack looked confused as he followed Ianto's lead and waved for the check. "How?"

"Our villa has a pool."


End file.
